Sunday, August 7, 2016

Offended? Let's ban some more things so you will feel better

There was news this past week about a complaint filed with the federal Equal Employment Opportunity Commission by a man who didn't like a co-worker's cap. The cap was emblazoned with the Gadsden flag, which is a drawing of a coiled snake and the words, "Don't Tread on Me." The Gadsden flag made the complainant uncomfortable and scared. He said the cap's message was racist, because the flag was designed by Christopher Gadsden during the Revolutionary War, and he was a slave owner, as were many men who founded and fought for this country.

This is an extension of the anti-Confederate flag outcry, more oversimplification of history for the oversimpletons. It is an effort to stamp out American history. Look for more to come, and keep in mind that the Stars and Stripes was once the flag of a slave-holding nation. It likely flew on the slave ships owned by wealthy New England traders. Even during the War for Southern Independence there were slaves in the North. They will eventually get to that flag, but first things first.

I haven't heard whether the EEOC has made a ruling, but I presume the sycophantic Southern Baptists are already at work drafting a resolution against the Gadsden flag. The Baptists have banned the Confederate flag on church , including certain cemeteries in the South where Confederate dead await Resurrection Day, because it is a sin to offend other people. They use I Corinthinas 10:23-24 as their scriptural support: It says: " 'I have the right to do anything,' you say—but not everything is beneficial. 'I have the right to do anything'—but not everything is constructive. No one should seek their own good, but the good of others."

Because I believe scripture and want to follow it, I got to thinking about what other things the EEOC should prohibit in the workplace and the Southern Baptists should ban on church property. To the Confederate flag and the Gadsden flag, let's add these:

1. Pork, because it offends Muslims. Moreover, some bad people have been reportedly throwing packages of bacon at the front doors of mosques. That is undoubtedly a hate crime in the modern United States. Surely, that's enough to call for an end to pulled pork sandwiches, pork and beans and sausage biscuits. No Southern Baptist church should ever allow ham at a carry-in dinner ever again.

2. Barbecue grills and smokers, because these offend and frighten climate change believers. According to this new religion, whether you use charcoal or propane, you are burning a fossil fuel and that is thawing out the ice caps. If you truly love your family, your neighbor and the Lord, you will never serve them another charred hot dog.

3. The Constitution, the Declaration of Independence, George Washington, and the U.S. flag, because all of this American history stuff has slavery attached to it, which makes it frightening and offensive.

4. The pledge of allegiance and the national anthem, because love of country is idolatry, according to some sects, and besides, we're globalists, and these relics of the past promote nationalism, which is now a hate crime.

5. White cops, because any time they defend themselves, they hurt black people. In fact, after reading the new Black Lives Matter list of demands, I conclude that we need to do away with law and order entirely because law and order is racism.

6. Any definition of marriage as being only one man and one woman. Marriage should be between anyone that loves, such as two men, two women, two couples or a crowd of fans at the football stadium. I love my sweet little baby, Gracie, and she loves me, so modernists would approve of a marriage for us. Love wins, they say. It doesn't matter that Gracie is a standard poodle.

7. Missionaries from the U.S. to other nations who talk about Jesus Christ and the cross he died on to take away our sin, because their presence implies that the religions of Africa and Asia are not good enough for God or man. That preaching is offensive to Buddhists, Hindus and headhunters.

Oh, my, the list could go on and on: Southern accents, "Dixie," Dixieland jazz, Dixie cups, hunting and fishing, fast cars, guns--there is just so much offensiveness that needs the attention of the federal government and the Southern Baptists these days.

I am going to think more about what I can do today while I cook some pork on my charcoal grill and watch my Confederate flag in the breeze.

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