Sunday, June 19, 2011

Newcomers helping Rolla to make "progress"

Rolla is a progressive town of just under 20,000 with many transplants from California and other foreign places who are working hard to make changes, including a 100 percent indoor smokefree ordinance that will be up for first reading at Monday night's city council meeting.

This ordinance will ban all smoking anywhere people work for pay indoors, including private clubs and lodges.

I don't smoke so it won't affect me; hence, I am apathetic. If the newcomers turn to attempting to ban burning wood in my fireplace or using my charcoal grill, I am going to be fighting mad.

A friend of mine, a Californian who moved to a small town outside Branson because who wanted to escape the madness in California, told me electronically:


Banning smoking indoors is the first step. Private clubs and lodges is the second step. Next is banning things like you mentioned in and around private homes.

The Califoreigners have already done that in many cities on government-declared, no-burn days; an' they ain't talkin' leaves, the burning of which is already against the law there.


Don't look now, OB, but they're after you!


I figure it's only a matter of time before some liberal dadburn import/transplant/interloper will go to the city council and start complaining about the smoke from his neighbor's fireplace and/or grill. The silly people around Rolla will jump on board and start the ball rolling to ban all use of wood or charcoal. The council will, of course, go along.

Here's my strategy:

1.) Start encouraging Califoreigners and other rich out-of-staters to move to Rolla. This will:
2.) Drive up the price of houses and land because these wealthy out-of-staters will pay any asking price. Driving up the prices of property will make it worthwhile for me to:
3.) Sell my money pit of a century-old house at a huge profit and
4.) Move way out in the sticks where I belong, where the local government will leave me alone, where I can burn my trash, grill my food and burn wood without fear of someone complaining and where I can live quietly on the money I make off the inflated sale of my house.

How about that strategy?

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