Friday, December 31, 2010

Manmade global warming is real

This is New Year's Eve. It should be cold outside, perhaps even frigid. There ought to be leftover snow. We ought to be bracing ourselves for a blizzard right after the first of the year. Instead, it is 59 degrees on my front porch in Rolla, 61 degrees at the Rolla National Airport.

This is global warming.

Moreover, it is manmade global warming.

Yes, I am a convert, and I'll tell you why. Bear with me. I'm going to take you on a circuitous route, but my logic, as always, is impeccable.

I figured it out this morning while watching a news channel. The commentators were talking about what government must do to create jobs. There were clips from the past two years of the president talking about what he is going to do to create jobs. The new Republican governor of Florida was talking about what he plans to do to create jobs. Everyone, including the newly elected Republican governor, believes the answer to job creation is government.

On a local level, Rolla city government has created a plan to increase shopping activity through tax subsidies. We're going to get a new retail department store (construction is set to begin in the spring) and the development will be paid for with sales and real estate taxes.

All of us are looking to government for solutions. Everyone in America, even those of us in traditionally conservative small Ozarks towns, now turns to the government for guidance.

Like the European socialists, we Americans have come to believe the government has the answers.

That makes most of us progressives, liberals, socialistic Democrats. We may think of ourselves as conservatives or Republicans, but we're really a bunch of left-leaners because we look to the government for direction in our lives.

Now I'm not pointing any fingers; I'm in there with the rest of you. There are few true conservatives left, and that's the cause of climate change.

Around the world and around the United States, there are billions of Democrats, progressives, liberals, socialists, communists and left-leaning moderate conservative Republicans.

And each one of us farts at least once a day. In my case, it's way more than that, but even if you only let go with one little pffffft or even a silent but deadly one, you are part of the manmade global warming problem.

Did I say problem? I meant to say catastrophe, because that's what the president says.

We can't blame this on the true-blue conservatives. For years, liberals have described the real conservatives as "tight asses," so we can't blame methane gas pollution on them.

No, folks, the problem is all of us left-leaning gas-expellers. There are too many of us doing what we do, so we are causing global warming.

When you are ready to relent and admit, as I have today, that you are part of the problem, then and only then can government really find a solution for us.

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